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Captain's log, stardate 1103-18

Olympic Games in Deep Space? Why not. I just found out that anything is possible with the Fucknet sex simulator. A beautiful virtual athlete with a perfect figure knelt in the starting blocks. To start, prepare, attention and fuck! I thrust my relay pin into her mouth and shuffled it through the light to the finish line. That was my personal record. All time, the ANNA 9000 has been cheered on by me. Olympic champion aka Captain. The end.

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Captain's log, stardate 1931-4

Control tower, I report that the Fucknet virtual simulator is the greatest invention in the history of human civilisation.The database contains perhaps all the sexual pleasures of the Universe. Today I chose the Cybergothic style. Unbelievable, innovative wild slut whore with colourful dreadlocks. At my own risk, I threw my dick in her piercing riveted mouth and fucked her hole from behind. So this was a really furious high-voltage ride, control tower. Cyber captain, over.

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Captain's log, stardate 1806-7

This is not how the Milky Way show has ever been. Control tower, today I went to a rock concert and in a virtual simulator detonated a real load. An incredibly hot rock star, the wild front woman showed me that with a microphone and an electric guitar you can make nice dirty things and what about that dick. In fact, I never experienced such hard rock during my astronaut training. I fucked that sexy bitch and put my microphone in her ass instead of getting her autograph. Rock wins! Captain, over.

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This Czech celeb thought she could sneak into the sauna without being noticed—bad idea. Fresh from a gossip magazine scandal, she’s pissed, stripped down to nothing but those fake tits and her model attitude. She’s in there to chill and escape the paparazzi, but little does she know, the hidden cams are on her every move. From fixing her bikini line to blowing off steam about her ex, this isn’t just some sauna time; it’s a secret celeb show gone viral.

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Incredible! Insane! An unparalleled video!!! Give a good clap to Pavla Mikulecka, the Bikini Fitness Champion! A Czech sport celebrity and a hot front runner for the upcoming world championship! Get ready to see something never seen before! Our cameraman fucked Pavla like the last whore off the street! He stuffed his chunk of meat into her mouth and her tight asshole! Hard porn live! Shocking smasher!

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This fame-hungry bimbo thought she’d have a ‘private’ moment with her muscle-bound meathead of a bodyguard. Turns out her ‘private’ is anything but. Every sloppy, awkward move caught on cam – from their dumb convo to clothes hitting the floor. Who knew ‘celebrity’ and ‘clueless’ were such a perfect combo?