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Captain's log, star date 0625-1876

Control base, today the Great Manitou himself spoke to me and sent me a gift, a beautiful young Indian woman. She first showed me that Native Americans give the best blowjobs in the world, and then I fucked her like a prisoner of war. Her tight pussy flowed with bliss as I fuck her with my hard arrow. The beauty turned out to be the real descendant of the legendary Standing Cock. She danced a ritual dance to summon golden rain and pissed on the village's sacred drum. That was a mess! Then the ANNA 9000 artificial intelligence turned off the simulator and I went back to service. Captain, Howgh!

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Captain's log, stardate 1806-7

This is not how the Milky Way show has ever been. Control tower, today I went to a rock concert and in a virtual simulator detonated a real load. An incredibly hot rock star, the wild front woman showed me that with a microphone and an electric guitar you can make nice dirty things and what about that dick. In fact, I never experienced such hard rock during my astronaut training. I fucked that sexy bitch and put my microphone in her ass instead of getting her autograph. Rock wins! Captain, over.

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Captain's log, star date 0510 - 2021

This is Captain, Control tower, over. I report that the new generation of virtual intelligence, SONA 2.0, is truly divine! As a warm welcome, she loaded a beautiful hairdresser into my simulator. Before the black princess could start the razor, I fucked her in the throat and her brain out of her head. Before starting the main shaving program, I glanced at what her customer had under her skirt and then projected a hard cock into her wet nest. Control tower, she had an incredibly narrow gap! Instead of paying her, I cumshot her face and hair and returned to active duty. Captain, thanks, end.

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I roll up to this blonde in a Mini, legs for days, hair down to her ass. She acts like I’m dirt ‘cause I’m in my old RV, but I flash some cash, and her eyes go wide. Her Russian accent makes her sound all high and mighty, but now she’s curious. She climbs in, sneering at my wall of pics from past lays – doesn’t know she’s about to be the next one. I whip out my veiny monster, and she tries to act tough, but when I push it in, she’s squirming, whining, and finally shutting up.

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I’m playing darts in this hellhole of a room, bored out of my goddamn mind. My sex chair? Dusty. My pussy? Same story. This place is driving me crazy—I’m so horny even masturbating feels like a chore. Should I call her? Mmm, last time was wild, but she made it clear she doesn’t like being seen. Screw it. I ring up my cock consigliere for a recommendation. While I wait, might as well fuck myself with my oversized dildo to warm up my ass. Yeeeah, baby.

Then, BAM—she shows up. Except it’s not my usual Barbie beauty; it’s some wild, red-striped-haired beast with a wicked smirk and a skirt barely hiding her massive cock. At first, I’m like, “What the actual fuck? This isn’t Barbara!” But then I see those gigantic tits and that swinging monster cock, and suddenly, I’m all in.

She doesn’t waste a second. First, her cock hits my stomach through my throat, and then she goes for round two, trying to hit the same spot through my ass. Holy shit—this is going to be way more fun than I expected.

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Cruising on a chilly afternoon, horniness dialed to max, when I spot her—brown curls, cute as hell, shuffling boxes in her van. She looks almost homeless, like her boyfriend kicked her to the curb and now she's living out of that beat-up ride. I flash a wad of cash, and she agrees to let me snap a pic. Damn, those tits! With the money as a sweetener, I knew I had it in the bag. Today, I’m all set to rearrange some guts.