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Captain's log, stardate 2704-74

Base, I report that the zombie apocalypse has reached the end of the universe. Even the mischievous artificial intelligence of the ANNA 9000 did not want to trust its own sensors when it saw what I had chosen today as a pleasure for my orphaned dick. Incredibly realistic zombie beauty, horny and determined to suck all the sperm out of me. Using the virtual simulator driver, I nicely teased the hungry beast. I really fucked her hole and sprinkled all the living water from my dick. It was a real zombie massacre! Perverted captain, over.

Captain's log, stardate 1806-7

This is not how the Milky Way show has ever been. Control tower, today I went to a rock concert and in a virtual simulator detonated a real load. An incredibly hot rock star, the wild front woman showed me that with a microphone and an electric guitar you can make nice dirty things and what about that dick. In fact, I never experienced such hard rock during my astronaut training. I fucked that sexy bitch and put my microphone in her ass instead of getting her autograph. Rock wins! Captain, over.

Captain's log, stardate 0706-1953

Base, this is the Captain, over. I discovered three stowaways on the board the spaceship today during a routine check. They were all in a fucking simulator, so I took firm and unrelenting action. I handcuffed them and initiated a cross-examination with my dick. I fucked their throats, stretched their cunts hard, and sucked one of them dry. As an exemplary punishment, all three intruders received a massive dose of hot cum right on their faces. I then locked them in a special cell in the Fucknet. I'm in charge here! Captain, out.

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