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Captain's log, star date 1002-0910

This is the captain of the spaceship UNREAL PORN, can anyone hear me? Today we play the final in the Champions League. A beautiful brunette defending champion stands in front of me, ready for every minute of the action. She grabbed my balls and flashed me a playful yellow card right from the start. After all that teasing, she eagerly took my dick deep in her throat. The beautiful goalkeeper is the MVP of the star team and matches me move for move, hungry for more. I fucked her wet pussy and came all over her with the final whistle. Her beautiful face sprinkled with my cum, that's a trophy for a new champion. Winning captain, over.

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• episode 18

Captain's log, star date 2-7291

An urgent message to alien civilizations. Goths are not typical inhabitants of planet Earth, but fucking them is an otherworldly experience. I had no hesitation when this pale beauty popped up on Fucknet and made it clear she was ready for a wild ride, and let me tell you, it was like a warp drive flight. A luxurious blow job, a horny wet pussy, and as a bonus, eager ass fucking. The perfect fuck. But the best of all was when she kicked things into crazy mode and took anal like a true cosmic queen. There's nothing like it in the whole universe, I can guarantee it. For goodbye, I glazed her goth makeup with a good dose of thick cum and signed off the connection. Captain, over.

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Captain's log, stardate 2704-74

Base, I report that the zombie fantasy has reached the edge of the universe. Even the mischievous artificial intelligence of the ANNA 9000 did not trust its own sensors when it saw what I had chosen today as pleasure for my lonely dick. An incredibly realistic zombie beauty appeared, horny and determined to suck every drop of sperm out of me. Using the virtual simulator driver, I slowly teased my eager undead seductress. I really fucked her hole hard, and then sprinkled all the living water from my dick. It was one wild zombie encounter! Perverted captain, over.