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Captain's log, stardate 1806-7

This is not how the Milky Way show has ever been. Control tower, today I went to a rock concert and in a virtual simulator blew a real load. An incredibly hot rock star, the wild front woman showed me that with a microphone and an electric guitar you can make nice dirty things, and damn, she knew exactly what to do with my dick. In fact, I never experienced such hard rock during my astronaut training. We fucked like filthy backstage animals, and she eagerly took my microphone in her ass instead of giving me an autograph. Rock wins! Captain, over.

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• episode 18

Captain's log, star date 2-7291

An urgent message to alien civilizations. Goths are not typical inhabitants of planet Earth, but fucking them is an otherworldly experience. I had no hesitation when this pale beauty popped up on Fucknet and made it clear she was ready for a wild ride, and let me tell you, it was like a warp drive flight. A luxurious blow job, a horny wet pussy, and as a bonus, eager ass fucking. The perfect fuck. But the best of all was when she kicked things into crazy mode and took anal like a true cosmic queen. There's nothing like it in the whole universe, I can guarantee it. For goodbye, I glazed her goth makeup with a good dose of thick cum and signed off the connection. Captain, over.

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Captain's log, stardate 1931-4

Control tower, I report that the Fucknet virtual simulator is the greatest invention in the history of human civilisation. The database contains perhaps all the sexual pleasures of the Universe. Today I chose the Cybergothic style. An unbelievable, innovative wild cybergoth with colourful dreadlocks, eager to play. I dove right in, sliding my dick into her piercing-ringed mouth before taking her hard from behind exactly how she wanted it. So this was a truly furious, high-voltage ride, control tower. Cyber captain, over.