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Captain's log, stardate 1806-7

This is not how the Milky Way show has ever been. Control tower, today I went to a rock concert and in a virtual simulator blew a real load. An incredibly hot rock star, the wild front woman showed me that with a microphone and an electric guitar you can make nice dirty things, and damn, she knew exactly what to do with my dick. In fact, I never experienced such hard rock during my astronaut training. We fucked like filthy backstage animals, and she eagerly took my microphone in her ass instead of giving me an autograph. Rock wins! Captain, over.

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Captain's log, stardate 1103-18

Olympic Games in Deep Space? Why not. I just found out that anything is possible with the Fucknet sex simulator. A beautiful virtual athlete with a perfect figure knelt in the starting blocks. To start, prepare, attention and fuck! I thrust my relay pin into her mouth and shuffled it through the light to the finish line. That was my personal record. All time, the ANNA 9000 has been cheered on by me. Olympic champion aka Captain. The end.

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Captain's log, stardate 1931-4

Control tower, I report that the Fucknet virtual simulator is the greatest invention in the history of human civilisation. The database contains perhaps all the sexual pleasures of the Universe. Today I chose the Cybergothic style. An unbelievable, innovative wild cybergoth with colourful dreadlocks, eager to play. I dove right in, sliding my dick into her piercing-ringed mouth before taking her hard from behind exactly how she wanted it. So this was a truly furious, high-voltage ride, control tower. Cyber captain, over.